Cracking compliments: help your daughter to take compliments the right way

  • Age: 10-16 yrs
  • Social Menu

Giving a compliment should be a simple thing but when you're a teen it's easy to take things the wrong way. To help your daughter see when a compliment really is a compliment, share our Cracking Compliments video and action checklist with her.

Do you find it hard to give a compliment to your daughter? This is a tricky time for her. On the one hand, she’s heavily influenced by her friends' opinions. On the other, she wants to be her own person and have her own style.

She's likely to be more aware of the different looks, shapes and sizes in her peer group too – and any reference to her own looks may leave her feeling anxious and confused. It's totally normal if she misunderstands what her friends mean when they compliment her about her appearance.

Help your daughter take a compliment the right way

You can help her through the process by following our helpful action checklist and sending her the link to this page. This video takes her through five different compliments her friends might give her about how she looks. Each time she'll see two interpretations: what she may hear and what her friend probably means.

Action checklist:
Help your daughter take compliments the right way

Start things off with a conversation: talk to your daughter about breaking the habit of commenting on appearance and encourage her to compliment or greet her friends on things that don't involve looks.

Share this page with her and show her the Cracking Compliments video: Use it as an opportunity to discuss the kinds of comments that she finds confusing or hurtful.

Get her to share it with her friends: encourage her to send it on to her friends so they can all realise the power of their words and break the habit of commenting on appearance. By sharing Cracking Compliments with her friends, she can help her peer group focus on all the other things they value in one another.

What next: action steps to help

  • It will help her see how comments about the way people look can be misinterpreted.
  • Use the video and the action checklist to shape the conversation when you're talking to your daughter about how to take a compliment.
  • How did the video make her feel? Can she see that what people say and what they mean are open to interpretation? Could she go a whole week without commenting at all on the way her friends look?
  • Encourage your daughter to share the video with her friends and have the same conversation with them.

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