Do you find it hard to give a compliment to your daughter? This is a tricky time for her. On the one hand, she’s heavily influenced by her friends' opinions. On the other, she wants to be her own person and have her own style.
She's likely to be more aware of the different looks, shapes and sizes in her peer group too – and any reference to her own looks may leave her feeling anxious and confused. It's totally normal if she misunderstands what her friends mean when they compliment her about her appearance.
You can help her through the process by following our helpful action checklist and sending her the link to this page. This video takes her through five different compliments her friends might give her about how she looks. Each time she'll see two interpretations: what she may hear and what her friend probably means.
Start things off with a conversation: talk to your daughter about breaking the habit of commenting on appearance and encourage her to compliment or greet her friends on things that don't involve looks.
Share this page with her and show her the Cracking Compliments video:
Use it as an opportunity to discuss the kinds of comments that she finds confusing or hurtful.
Get her to share it with her friends:
encourage her to send it on to her friends so they can all realise the power of their words and break the habit of commenting on appearance. By sharing Cracking Compliments with her friends, she can help her peer group focus on all the other things they value in one another.
What do you like about your body?
Dr Phillippa Diedrich Research psychologist, body image expert
Article date: 01 July 2013
Review date: 01 July 2014
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